How to Raise Proud Jewish Children

As the mother of two young daughters, I think a lot about how to instill Jewish pride in my children. 

I know a lot of us grew up feeling like we had to diminish our Jewishness out in the world – and I want to make sure things are different for my girls. It’s so important to me that they feel empowered in their Jewish identities.

So far, I’m happy to report my kids – now 9 and 11 – love being Jewish and take so much pride in their identities. And with a little effort, I promise you yours can too. 

Before I get started, I want to emphasize that different things will work for different families, and at different stages of life – so please take this list as a jumping-off point for inspiration, not a checklist of must-dos! As always, this a no-guilt zone. 

1. Be a proud Jew!

Children copy us – and the way we approach Judaism is no exception. So if you want your children to love Judaism, make sure you’ve got a solid handle on why you’re proud to be Jewish yourself, and what Jewish things spark joy for you. 

Once you’ve got that in place, talk to your kids about what being Jewish means to you, and communicate your excitement for the specific things you love about Judaism. Make sure to indulge in those Jewish traditions you love most, and fill your home with what being Jewish means to you – which might include investing in Judaica items you love and letting your kids help you use them, stocking a Jewish library, playing Jewish music, or whatever else speaks to you personally.

2. Do it for the love

Don’t do anything because you “should” – if you’re not excited and are just doing things out of obligation, kids will pick up on that and mirror it back. Choose to engage in those Jewish activities that DO bring you joy, and the enthusiasm will carry over. And don’t feel guilty about any traditions you choose to pass on for now.

Be sure to not only do the Jewish things you love, but also to talk to your children about why you love them – and keep talking all year round, not just on holidays!

3. Fill your home with Jewish joy

It’s so important to make Judaism feel fun for children, not boring or heavy. There are so many amazing ways to do that, but one of my very favorites is celebrating Shabbat as a family each week. Every Friday night, in addition to sitting down together to a festive meal and lighting candles, we go around and take turns talking about the highlight of our week and something we’re grateful for. 

Another great way to get kids excited is by getting them involved with Jewish food and cooking! Bake challah together, make recipes for the holidays, or prepare a special Friday night dinner.

Reading Jewish children’s books is a fun activity to do together – and if you sign up for PJ Library, they’ll send you free age-appropriate Jewish books every month, no strings attached! 

You can dance to Jewish or Israeli music together – if you’re looking for the perfect soundtrack, I’ve got just the playlist for you. 

If you’re looking for something a little more ambitious, you could get started learning Hebrew together (or teaching your kids, if you already know it). 

4. Dealing with discrimination

No one wants to think about their child facing discrimination for being Jewish, but unfortunately it’s something we do need to be prepared for as parents. 

The most important thing is to make your child feel safe expressing their emotions, and to provide empathy and compassion for what they’re going through. Answer whatever questions they may have in a way that’s appropriate for their age level, and be sure to reassure your child that whatever happened was not their fault. And always remind your child of their strength and beauty, and encourage them to celebrate who they are even if the outside world doesn’t.

Raising children who feel proud to be Jews is such important and rewarding work – but it can be challenging too, especially in a non-Jewish world, and it’s such a support to be part of a community that shares your goals and values. That’s one reason I’m so grateful to be part of Smashing Life, my empowering Jewish community for women around the world – it’s filled with amazing parents (and stepparents!) committed to raising proud Jewish kids, and we’ve even got a private subgroup just focused on parenting. If you’re looking for a caring, open Jewish community to support you in your parenting and beyond, try it out for yourself and see for yourself what makes Smashing Life so special.

If you’re raising proud Jewish children too, I’d love to hear your tips in the comments!